In 2014, I was desperately looking for peace. I was too young to fight the conservative laws and culture that by reciting one verse from the Holy Quran makes you someone else’ property. I was fighting for my freedom. I reached the point where life had no meaning for me. My family challenges were beyond my ability to cope with the situation. I was getting weaker and weaker every day.
One day, I was leaving the house early in the afternoon and walking with no destination to pass time. It was a hot and sunny day , I was passing the park next to my house. I saw a flyer advertising golf for women. The flyer was hung in front of a building. I had never heard anything about this advertisement before. I read the advertisement and it said that the fee was free for women.
I thought to myself that I should go to the office and get more information about this advertisement. I said to myself that at this moment, I had no destination . I had no money to spend. At least this was announced as free and I needed an activity to distract myself . A few minutes later I went up to the building and saw someone in the office who had the flyer about golf for women. I asked the man for more information. He explained that every player had to attend practice once a week and the federation would pay for their commute. He said they did not have a golf course in Herat. However, golf players would be trained to practice at a short distance in the Herat Football Stadium. The man showed me the golf set and golf balls. It was a weird type of sport to me, but I was curious about how to play it.
For a second I thought that I should put down my name on the list. I knew it might not be easy for me to join but at least it was something that could distract me from all the challenges going on in my life. I wrote down my name on the list and left the office.
When I went home, I thought about it for several days whether I should go or not. It was a challenging decision because I had to hide it from my parents because I already belonged to someone and was not allowed to join sports or make any decisions on my own. On the other hand, playing any type of sport was considered a taboo for a girl.
Well, I had no choice but to hide it from them. That was the only way I could make a decision for myself. I went to the first day of practice and introduced myself to the team. On the first day, I fell in love with playing golf. The reason was that I built a connection between golf and freedom in life. When I was holding the club and hitting the ball toward my target, I was inspired to see my life in the same process as playing golf. I looked at my golf target as my freedom and hitting the ball with the golf iron was my motivation and hope to fight the challenges toward freedom.
Since that day, I continued to sneak out of the house and participate in the training sessions. The golf coach motivated us by saying that if we continued attending each training session, we might have a chance to be selected as national players to participate in international golf tournaments. I was so happy to hear that. I became tremendously excited and practiced at each session. Sometimes at night before I went to sleep, I would close my eyes and picture my golf posture and grip on the golf iron. I was trying to remember my posture through imagination.
Months passed, and I continued falling in love with golf. I was nervous that my parents might find out about it, otherwise I would lose my only motivation and distraction from all my life’s pain.
One day my golf coach told the team that there was going to be a golf tournament in Bangladesh in 2015. The Golf Federation in Bangladesh invited only two girls from Afghanistan; one girl would go from Kabul and only one girl from Herat. The Herat golf team was going to have a competition among themselves, and only one of us would be chosen to go to Kabul to travel with the golf team from Kabul to participate in the tournament in Bangladesh. I was happy that there was an opportunity, but only God knew who would be the one.
I continued my practice as usual and prayed for a better life. Challenges were getting more overwhelming. I was finding no solution for my life. I was in a prison with no doors or windows. Life had no light for me. Every day I was feeling weaker and weaker. However, I continued to participate in my golf training. I went to the golf training session and the golf coach announced the day that we should expect to have our competition in the next month. As soon as I heard this news, I became even more stressed.
The following month arrived. I didn’t even want to go to the competition. I did not have proper golf shoes or even proper golf gloves. In fact, We did not have a golf pro shop to even get golf equipment. In the entire country, there was only one golf course with nine holes which was located in Kabul city. My hands had blisters from previous golf sessions. I just did not have hope or motivation to attend. I thought a lot about my decision. Later on, I convinced myself to go and participate in the competition with no expectations. The competition was organized at the Herat Football Stadium. The coach told the team that everyone would have one chance to hit the ball with a driver, and the longest shot would be the winner. We took half an hour to warm up. The competition started and everyone got their turn one after another. Everyone did great. My turn approached, and my entire body started shaking. I took the driver and took a deep breath. I looked at the target and the ball. For one second, I pictured myself fighting for my freedom, like how I felt on the first day of my practice session. I took the swing and hit the ball with all my hope and strength. Soon I noticed everyone had started clapping and pointing at the direction of the ball. Everyone took their turn, and the competition was over. After that, the golf coach had a brief meeting with his assistant and other coaches. Soon after he asked for everyone’s attention to announce the longest shot. I was so scared, and my heart was beating really fast. He looked at everyone and said “The winner of the longest shot is Shagufa.” When I heard my name, I could not believe it. I was shocked. I felt numb for a second. Everyone was coming to me and congratulating me. My golf coach told me not to be shocked. It was time for me to continue my intense practice for the upcoming international tournament.
Since that day one golf shot changed my destiny forever. That one golf shot not only gave me the opportunity to travel to Bangladesh and participate in an international golf tournament but also opened more doors to allow me to continue my higher education there. Since that day I learned that anytime I feel like giving up, it is the time that God has a better plan for me and anytime I feel life has no meaning for me, the universe has prepared a deeper definition for my life. Since that day Golf is not just a game in my life, it is the Turning Point of my destiny.